


Dear Dan

by Edgy_Trashbag



Category: Phandom, dan and phil, phanieldom
Genre: 2009!phan (at the beginning), DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Gay, Growing Old Together, I've never been more proud about a phanfiction I've written, M/M, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, bittersweet but happy ending, i worked really hard on this, its like a note, might make you cry, parents!phan, phanieldom - Freeform, phanielfiction, really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 08:06:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10895190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edgy_Trashbag/pseuds/Edgy_Trashbag
Summary: Phil is writing a note to Dan about their lives together





	Dear Dan

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you don't cry too hard.

Dear Dan, 

I remember the very first time you commented on one of my videos, most of the comments I got at the time were usually very rude but then you came along and said this was one of the best videos you'd seen in a long while, it was just a comment but it made me smile. I remember when you started tweeting at me, I remember seeing your icon and username before anybody else's. I remember the first time we dmed each other, I remember exchanging skypes and skyping you into the early hours of the morning. I remember how pretty I thought you looked that first skype call. I remember calling you pretty and you blushing like mad. I remember when we first met in person and how I was scared you were going to murder me but totally being okay with you murdering me. I remember seeing your face in the train station and running to you as quickly as possible because it was the only thing I could do. I remember how tightly you hugged me and I remember never wanting to let go. I remember going to Starbucks and the apple store and then the Manchester eye, where you kissed me and my heart did that flippy over thing it had never done before. 

I remember the first time you came to my house and when we filmed the first ever "Phil is not on fire" I remember how excited we both were to be together and I remember the first time you spent the night. I remember when you spent a week at my house and we watched wall-E and cried. I remember kissing you in 3-D glasses. I remember when I fell in love with you and man I fell hard. 

I remember moving out of my parents house and you always staying over at my flat. I remember you moving up to Manchester for university. I remember that one time when you got really sick and we had to go to the hospital and I remember sneaking you McDonalds. I remember pushing your hair back and smiling whilst you were asleep and then taking a picture because you looked so goddamn cute and I wanted you to be able to see how cute you were. I remember when we first moved in together. I remember how great it was to finally be spending so much time with you.  
I remember how you dropped out of uni and I fully supported you and you were so happy for that. I remember when we started fighting too, you would ignore me, you would scream, we would push and shove and both cry, cry until the early hours of morning and then comfort each other only to do the same thing the next day. I remember how you stopped kissing me.  
I remember when we moved to London and got to do the radio show for the first time for Christmas, I remember when we stopped fighting so much but you were still uncomfortable around me. I remember when you finally let me back into your life and broke down your walls and actually showed me your feelings again. I remember being so happy when you let me into your emotions and we started kissing again and acting like a real couple like we once had been. I remember going on vacations with you and feeling so happy to be traveling with my best friend, my lovely boyfriend. I remember when we had the idea for tabinof and then for TATINOF. I remember writing tabinof and it taking so long but it was so worth it. I remember making TATINOF and how long that took. I remember going to Japan with you and doing all sorts of incredible things and seeing incredible sights with you. I remember going on tour and how hectic that was, I remember all of it. I remember when you started being comfortable in your own skin and when you stopped straightening your damn hair all the time. I remember getting engaged and moving to the second London flat. This one was bigger and had more space but we knew it wasn't our forever home, I remember getting married and making so many memories with you in the place. I remember a couple years later when we moved into a real house and we got a dog. I remember getting that corgi and how much we loved him with all our heart. I remember when we adopted our first child. I remember getting Winnie Catherine Lester when she was only 2 days old, I remember how every single time she cried you went to comfort her because you couldn't stand to see her cry. I remember how I had to hold myself from crying every time I realized how lucky I was to have both of you. I remember Winnie growing up so fast and by the time she was five we knew we needed another baby. I remember when we finally got a baby boy who was only an hour old and we named him Michael James Lester and we couldn't stop crying. I remember Winnie realizing she wasn't the only child anymore but not caring because she also loved little baby Michael. I remember both of our kids growing up and going to school and by the time Winnie finished primary school you cried so hard you had to leave the graduation ceremony. I remember when Michael finished primary school and you also cried at that but learned how to control yourself. I remember when Winnie became angsty and you praised her for it because she was becoming an edge lord like her "favorite father" yes I'm still salty about that. I remember when Michael started wearing makeup and somebody bullied him and about it so you demanded we yell at his principle and you got so angry you started crying. I remember the first time I got a grey hair and you teased me about it until you started getting grey hairs and decided the joke wasn't funny anymore. I remember Winnie graduating secondary school and choosing her career in life and she became a lawyer and you were skeptical but she happily became a lawyer and then her girlfriend came by and asked us if she could marry our daughter and we said yes of course and cried our eyes out. I remember when Michael graduated highschool and then decided he would be a makeup artist and we both knew that that's what he would do and we laughed so hard at him acting confused because we weren't shocked. I remember when Michael started dating that one boy Jared and how hard he fell even though we all knew it wouldn't last and then they broke up and we all cried. I remember when Michael started dating the right man, Pjs son. And then after all that I remember when it was only you and I at home again, along with two dogs, Pip and Kitty because you wanted a dog named kitty to confuse people and you did. I remember after we both went completely grey yet I still dyed my hair black you decided you would just let your grey grow out and eventually I did the same, even though I would occasionally dye a streak green or blue or maybe purple depending on my mood. I remember when we were told I only had a month to live and I saw you cry harder than i have ever seen a human cry. I remember when I only had a week left and you broke down and started screaming to the sky. I remember how tonight is the night before I know I will die and I am spending it writing you this note titled "Dear Dan." and how you are sleeping right next to me and this is probably the last night we will ever sleep together and even though you have never really believed in an after life, I want to spend the afterlife with you. Daniel James Lester, I love you more than words can explain. I want you to know that death doesn't end love it only delays it a bit. So if I'm dead while you read this, I'll be watching you up from heaven or glaring from down in hell.  
Goodnight Daniel.  
-Phil Lester

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how this turned out but it made me cry writing it and if it sucks it's because I've spent the last 45 minutes just writing this bitch and that's all the time I've spent on it? Anyways hope you enjoyed-also anybody reading it after I edited this won't know that I said "until the early hours of night" instead of morning-and I did it twice. ALSO A HUGE THANKS TO EVERYBODY COMMENTING NICE THINGS BECAUSE ITS REALLY MOTIVATING ME TO WORK HARDER AND I ALMOST CRIED BECAUSE THESE COMMENTS ARE SO SWEET


End file.
